How was school today?

Getting your child to talk about school

Are you feeling perplexed or frustrated as to why your child won't talk about school? When asked "How was school?", the responses, I bet, are invariably "Good" (I hope) or similar. Please take comfort in the fact that this is a global phenomena that has existed for millennia! Think back to when you were 12 years old - how motivated were you to feedback to your parents about the ins and outs of school? Chemical changes currently taking place in your child's body are starting to change the way they interact with you. During puberty, their pre-frontal cortex (the CEO / organiser of the brain) is beginning to shutdown and the amygdala (non-thinking / fight or flight) is starting to fire-up. Therefore, a question like "How was school" is actually perceived as a threat or attack as their ability to process an answer swiftly is greatly diminished. 

However, I have a simple strategy that might help (or make it worse)

Be more specific with your questioning. For example, "Hey, your teacher said on his blog that you're focusing on debating - can you tell me more about that?"; "Tell me about the latest maths you've been working on"; "Describe something that was difficult today"; "Did anything frustrate you today? Tell me about it"; "Tell me about something that made your proud today"